

Dad has been arguing about this for weeks now. Neither staff member was emotionally prepared for a five year old to break out a novel. My dad is 6'3, which means neither option is very appealing.

The teacher is torn between wanting to strangle me, and wanting to strangle my dad. The principal is giving the teacher an unimpressed Look. I take the book, and happily begin reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. He suggests I read a chapter of that to everyone. The principal and teacher are still trying to understand what the fuck just happened, when Dad produces a different book and hands it me. I tear through the entire thing in about a minute, then throw it aside in disgust.ĭad was prepared for this moment. The principal winces.ĭad persuades me to just read the dumb book out loud. I have no idea what we're all doing here, and nobody has made any real effort to explain the situation to me. I refuse the book, because I find it boring and patronizing. Unfortunately for my teacher, I'm also a dumbass who can read. There is significant evidence for me being a dumbass of epic proportions. I've accidentally wounded myself so many times that my incident folder needed to be expanded. I'm that one kid that slammed their own head into a windowsill for unclear reasons, then failed to understand why adults were concerned about the blood pouring down my face. My daycare was attached to the school, and that's allowed me to build a reputation in advance. Teacher is very smug about this, fully expecting me to once again prove my complete dumbassery. Dad runs a small construction company, and absolutely has time for this nonsense. Mom has a full time job doing something sciency at the pulp mill, and no time for this nonsense. they expected my mother to show up, on account of it being 2004. She throws such a shit fit over the matter that the principal has to get involved, and I am brought to his office for a specific literacy test in front of him, my teacher, and a parent. Teacher continued to insist they were wrong and in denial about their kid being illiterate.

My parents kept informing her that no, seriously, the kid can read, the kid is reading full chapter books on their own, of course they don't give a shit about See Spot Run I had the exact same thing happen when I was a kid my kindergarten teacher swore up and down that I was completely illiterate, cause I'd take the baby books in the classroom, flip through them, then never touch any of them again.
