I want to say it has nothing to do with you, because it is not your fault, but they will find someone who they deem important enough to BE better for. They will not put in the effort or energy they KNOW you deserve. When someone tells you that you deserve better, they are telling you to move on because they don’t care enough to be better. We want it to be something else.īut here is the brutal truth, the one I forget too often. Listen to what they are saying, as much as you want it to mean something else.
I know all of this.īelieve someone the first time. His makes me want to touch him and love him and tell him it will all be okay. Mine feels ugly, whereas his? His makes me want to hold him. Because his depression isn’t as scary as mine.
I’m a whole lot better at it than taking care of myself. Perhaps it’s easier to focus on someone else. I know I’m riddled with my own set of issues. I’ve dated, or at the very least lusted, after them all: the ones with addictions, depression, anxiety, the lost ones, the ones who need validation and love. But really, it’s just a symptom of living long enough. We all think we’re so damaged and broken. And then I remind them we’re all damaged anyways. “I like the damaged ones,” I always joke when friends caution me against my latest romantic interaction. Maybe it’s being raised with a psychology professor for a father and this weird, innate desire I have to apply bandaids to any bleeding hearts I come across. I keep forgetting what happens when you touch fire. I keep doing it, thinking this time it’ll be fine. Like some kid who just keeps sticking her hand in the flame, knowing she gets burned each time. “You’re so amazing, but I’m just messed up right now.” It’s the, “I’m going to hurt you.” Or, “You deserve better than me.” I always think there’s some hidden meaning, that something else that will reveal itself in time. I guess I never do believe them the first time. “When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” There’s a saying my mom frequently used (a variation of the famous Maya Angelou quote) that I think I finally understand.
0 kommentar(er)
